Journey from Ecstasy to Pain
 

“The prettiest smiles hide the deepest Secrets,

The prettiest eyes cry the most tears,

The kindest hearts have felt the most pain.”

The day crept into darkness as she on her bed, thinking about the whole day, with whom she meet, talked and interacted. All of them considered her the happiest person because she smiled and laughed but who knows sometimes all we need is a big happy smile to hide an injured soul.

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Sarah was one of the happy teenage girl with full of life. She enjoyed each and every moment of life and made others happy too. She has a lot of friends because she loved to meet new people. Everyone liked her due to her jolly and respectable nature. She was very good friend because she listened and understood others. She was very social and creative; she dealt very positively with her problems. Everything was going good till that day when she got depressed.

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Firstly she was feeling low and down most of the time. She didn’t take it serious and considered them mood swings. But with the passage of time she constantly felt sad and her positivity was changing into negativity.

→ (This is first sign of depression, when your positive energy changed into negative and you can’t help yourself)

Life was going and Sarah was changing. The girl who used to laugh and spread laughter becomes sad and quiet now. She lost her interest in everything which she used to enjoy. Her parents were worried for her; they couldn’t see their lovely daughter in this condition. She couldn’t sleep at night and kept waking and crying. She couldn’t eat properly sometimes she eats a lot and sometimes she eats nothing.

→ (Sleeping and eating disorders another sign of depression)

Most of the time she felt sad and Empty and there was nothing heavier than the weight of emptiness. People tend to wish away their sadness or strive for numbness. But the truth is that emptiness eats away at you. When you are sad, you know it will be okay in sometime. But emptiness is permanent. Emptiness is the ultimate rock bottom from which there is no ladder, no escape.

She tired to get rid of this emptiness but she couldn’t help herself.

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“People think depression is sadness, crying and dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb, being numb to emotions and life. Days aren’t really days; they are just annoying obstacles that need to be faced. And how do you face them? Through medication, through drugs, through cutting, through smoking, through drinking. When you are depressed, you grasp onto anything that can get you through the day.

That’s what depression is, not sadness or tears, it’s the overwhelming sense of numbness and the desire for anything that can help you make it from one day to next.”

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Then there came a stage in her life when she started taking pills just to hide her feeling for sometimes. Sometimes people got addicted to something which took the pain away and she got addicted to pills and tranquilizers that were suggested by her therapist but she raised the quantity and started over dosing. When ever she had migraine she took the handful of tablets instead of one or two and this thing badly destroying her nervous system and kidneys.

→ (Addicted to something that takes pain away)

Her studies were badly affected and she failed most of the subjects and this was one of the big shocks for her because she was an outstanding student. Her parents were also shocked but they control themselves and supported her because they understand her mental condition.  But people made life miserable for her, taunted her and she lost all the self confidence. She tired to act normal in front of them but she couldn’t handle their taunts and burst into tears and anger. She cried and requested them to stop that shit. And after that she was labeled as mad and mentally sick.

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“When someone is going through the severe depression they can’t handle any failure in their life because they are already fighting with their mental state and at that time every little thing seems to be worst.”

They want care and attention and someone who will listen and understand them, who wouldn’t ask any question and try to understand their condition.

And when you help the depressed one that would be the kindest and noblest thing you ever do.”

→ (They need love and care instead of hate)

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Therapist: Sarah, everything will be alright. Why have you lost the hope?

Sarah: Nothing will be alright doctor, I failed in my class, I received the label of mad and mentally sick from my relatives and friends who used to be so nice. I lost my confidence, self respect.

Therapist: So, what? You got fail, everyone went through the failure to become the successful but it doesn’t mean you start destroying yourself. And the people who labeled you mad actually they are mentally sick they are jealous, they just want to feel you low and down. But my child you have to prove them wrong you have to gather your positive energy and again take a fresh start of life. I know you are going through the worst but you have to beat this depression down you have to prove that you are much stronger than depression. You have to do it Sarah for the sake of your parents, your siblings and your real friends but most importantly for the sake of yourself. You deserve happiness just try to value yourself. Never harm yourself because this life is precious gift of Allah. And ALLAH doesn’t like those people who harm themselves. Just bow down your head before him and read Quran daily because nothing can give you peace except Allah. So, promise me you will try to come out from this phase, you will beat this depression.

Sarah: I will try my best doctor.

Therapist:  that’s great you have to do it because you are stronger than this depression. Next time I want to see the same Sarah as she used to be full of life and positivity.

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And the words of therapist echoed in her mind and she started thinking about her life. She knew that no one will help her if she didn’t help herself. She tired to get rid of this and prayed to Allah for peace and strength. She gathered her positive thinking it seemed to be easy but only she knew how hard it was to get rid of this.  She started to hide her sadness behind the pretty big smile and it was the most difficult task for her but she did that. She made her self strong and confident and started the new life. And the bravest thing she ever did was continuing her life when she wanted to die.

 “The wound is the place where the light enters you”

This phase teaches her a lot of lesson; she saw the true faces of people. She became closer to Allah and Allah gave her inner peace and satisfaction. And she came back to the life with more strength and confidence. She became the strongest person and she proved that she’s worth than depression.

“You are not what you have DONE; you are what you have OVERCOME.”